Balancing

School. Marriage. Ministry

Three equally important aspects in my life

Three schedules I am struggling to handle

I have been so stressed out trying to equally balance the three, when God clearly has shown me that it is not possible. But how do you decide which to give up?

Which of the three is less important than the other two?

If I gave up School: 

God has me at MSU for a reason, I mean, hello I came to Christ because of His pursuit of me through my college ministry. So to quit on that, to quit on my education and future career seems like a huge no thank you to me

If I gave up my Marriage:

You're kidding right?

If I gave up my Ministry:

My identity is in Christ. I am here to do His work above all else. To give up leading a Bible study, give up discipling my girls, give up the relationships I've created with people? Can I even call myself a follower of Christ at that point? I don't think so

And I've tried, believe me I've tried balancing.

When I focus on my marriage, my ministry begins to fail. I take my time spent on meeting with girls, and spend it with my husband, only to be called out and told I am not carrying my weight.

I focus on school and my marriage starts to fail. I am angry towards my husband, irritable and overwhelmed with work to the point where we are basically roommates.

I focus on ministry, my grades reflect my neglect. I take time away from studying and doing homework to attend Bible study, go to weekly events, meet up with girls and build into them. ANd my grades aren't happy about that.

So what do I get rid of? Where do I cut back? Something has to change, I am one person and there literally are not enough hours in the day to accommodate everyone and everything. Oh and did I mention I also have a job? I need money for food and living expenses, so that can't go either.

As of now, I am ready to throw in my towel, give up on everything and do nothing, because I am so overwhelmed and stressed that I dread waking up each day.

And that is not ok

Sewing Saturday- Maxi Skirt

Life has been pretty crazy this summer, and my sewing has been put on the back burner. 

I have several projects started, and even fewer finished! 

I did manage to whip up this adorable maxi skirt for a friend of mine, and I am super happy with how it turned out.

Still deciding if I want to turn it into a tutorial, since there are so many out there already for this type of skirt, but here is a really crummy pic of the skirt! 

I need a location to photograph my projects, I will also try and get one of it being modeled. I can not fit the skirt, since it was made to fit my friend who is several inches taller than I. 

Next Saturday I hope to have all of the baby stuff for my nephew finished so I can show you all!

While the Husbands Away....

The wife will:

Do laundry

Clean house

Sew

Blog

and Pin

Joseph works throughout the summer, while this is the first summer I have had completely off- no school and no work. It has been a challenge for me, but I've been enjoying the time off. Now if only Joseph could join me, I'd probably be even happier. 

This One Day...

We got married, and it was everything we had ever hoped for.

The day was beautiful after a weeks worth of rain. It was sunny and gorgeous the entire time, with the sun going away to give us a cool evening to party in. 

The ceremony was filled with God's love and design for marriage, and it was a great representation of what we want for our life and marriage together. It was a wonderful message for all of our friends, family, and those we are trying to minister to.

Overall the day was perfect, and we would gladly revisit it with these beautiful pictures.

Writers Block

They say I'm a writer, and supposedly a good one. But right now I hardly feel like one at all. 

See, I'm supposed to write this short story for class.

Fine, no problem!

However this particular professor is very picky, and for some reason he has me feeling as if nothing I write is going to be good enough.

Doesn't exactly encourage nor does it inspire.

Besides the hurdle of getting into the spirit of writing, I have nothing to write about.

Oh sure I have endless ideas for stories, I could easily write them, but none of them are professor approved. He claims we haven't experienced enough in our young age to write anything about sadness, loss, tough decisions and anything to do with death. And the fact that my life, at the young age of 21, has experienced so much of that, I am literally left with nothing else to write about.

I'm torn between what I know best, and what the professor wants us to write about. 

How do you explain to someone that despite your age you've experienced far more loss, pain and suffering than most? How do you explain the events that have brought you here are the things you want to write about most, so you can help those who have been through it find their way out like you did?  

It's tough.

So here I sit, blogging about it 

(which by the way my prof hates blogging and any form of online writing, thanks for that)

Do you think I could just collect all my old posts from my previous blog and put them into a collection, possibly a memoir of sorts in journal form?? 

Even so, I wonder what that would look like......

Lynnette

Sewing Saturday

This past Saturday I was able to accomplish making all the things I had wanted on my sewing machine

Pocket Sized Tissue Holders

Front view of machine cover

Side view of cover

And so the birth of a series. Every Saturday I will post something in relation to sewing. This will include projects I've accomplished, tutorials for them, ideas and tips and just about anything that you can do with sewing. Hopefully this will grow and you (reader, whomever you are) will enjoy them as much as I am. I also plan on including all the links for Sewing Saturday into its own page, so you can easily access all posts related to it. The label map to the left (if you click on Sewing Saturday, all posts with that label will appear) and blog archive will help you navigate once things get going. I'm really excited about this because I love sewing and crafting.

In Joseph related news, he too has been hard at work crafting. While I was busy sewing, he was busy designing, cutting, and building a pantry for our kitchen. It is awesome! He took lots of pictures and I'll make him write up a post (because its about time we heard from him) about it and perhaps he can turn it into a series where he shows off all of his projects! 

Because what is more adorable than a couple who does varying projects and blogs about them? 

Nothing.

After all, this is about our Moments together as a couple!

Lynnette

21

I turned 21 on Saturday, yay!

It definitely was a strange birthday, I didn't feel like it was my birthday at all. I didn't have that feeling late the night before where your stomach fills with butterflies and you can't wait to see what the day holds (I actually haven't had that feeling for years, but usually there is some anticipation for the day, this time none) 

This didn't upset me however, just made me feel like I'm growing up and birthdays are just becoming normal days, or maybe I've had one too many disappointments on my birthday that I just don't care to get excited? 

Anyway this birthday didn't have any disappointments. My wonderful fiance took me to Traverse City where we met up with his brother, had lunch, walked downtown and out onto the bay (its frozen). He also surprised me the day before with a new sewing machine! It was a combination birthday/bridal shower gift from his mother and him. 

I love it! I couldn't wait to start making things again, obviously because I love crafting. I haven't been able to work with my hands and create in a very long time and it gave me much joy to think about the endless hours I will get to spend picking out fabrics and patterns and turing our future home into a place we can actually call home. 

My first project is a sewing machine cover. The machine I've been lucky to have been gifted is an old Viking that works just the same as the day it was made. It is a basic beginner machine, perfect for someone like me who has yet to establish any real skill, but I can't wait to learn all I can and make things people will love! 

I will post pictures of things I make, and perhaps even have a separate page for sewing tutorials, projects I've made, fabric I've purchased, etc. Let me know if you would love to see more of that stuff in its own category in the comments below!  

Lynnette

P.S I'm thinking of redesigning the blog, change the colors a bit, maybe add some pattern or something, if you have any suggestions let me know in the comments as well!

Snow vs. Sand

Living in Michigan has been great, there is so much to see and do here and everything is within a decent driving distance.

That being said I must admit my only dislike for our state.

 (ok there may be multiple, but no state is without its problems)

I detest snow.

I detest snow so much that it this year alone has made me want to move very far away, preferably more south.

(although the storms have been breaching southern territory too)

I'm not happy with the quantity we have so graciously been given, and it never seems to end. If I had to guess (with my totally legitimate math skills) I would say we've been getting 2-6 inches a week (at minimum). There are huge piles, nothing ever seems to be shoveled enough, ice covers everything, and don't even get me started on walking to classes! 

I for one have had enough snow for a lifetime.

What has been keeping me sane during this perpetual downfall of white flakes?

Maui!

Yes, Maui.

My sweet, loving fiance has planned a beautiful honeymoon in Maui, HI and I can not wait to be sitting on a beach sipping....smoothies? 

(they really should reconsider the typical 'sitting on a beach sipping Mai Tai's' cliche for people who don't drink...)

Anyway back to the beach. If you go and read the description Joseph gave about me on the "Lynnette" page, it says I love summer, and it's true. I love being outside, so winter really brings me down. Every morning that I wake up and see another inch has fallen, I just think to 133 days from now when I will be on a plane to Maui. Joseph and I love sitting on the beach doing absolutely nothing but enjoying each others company. The last time we went to the beach Joseph built a sand castle while I took pictures of the process. I pretended to tan, and he kept jumping in the water to cool off. We read some of our marriage book, and generally just relaxed. We are spoiled here in Michigan with our beaches, seriously, the sand is the best in the world (so I've heard, and I won't disagree because it really is great sand).

However, I am so excited to travel to a place I have never been and experience it all with my husband. Of course the beach is on our list (we are staying right on it), but we also plan on doing the 'Drive to Hana', which will be beautiful and eventful. I love taking drives with Joseph and I'm sure that one will be one of my favorites. I can't wait to see all of the trails and waterfalls as well as more beaches (really at this point that's all I'm thinking about, sorry sweetie).

Only 133 days left to go! 

Engineering

The engineering building has become a second home of sorts. 

To Joseph it has been home since his start in grad school, for me it became home when I began to sit and wait for him. 

(Not a bad sitting and waiting, just in general, waiting for him to finish work so we could talk, or just sitting admiring him while he works)

I see the same faces on the first floor, a mix of doe eyed freshman engineers and math students going to their first tier classes, blissfully unaware of how difficult their life is about to become (and as the semesters go by the changes in the movements and expressions is almost comical, sometimes I feel bad for not warning them).

As I make my way up the stairs to the second, then third floor the atmosphere changes and the people I see I've become to know. Before, I would get weird looks, as if they thought I was lost, now most of them know who I am and why I'm here, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. 

Before I was this mysterious potential engineer, who was smart, and who didn't fit the typical mold of one who is on the third floor, and for some reason it gave me a little sense of joy being able to be mysterious for a little while. I had to entertain myself somehow being stuck in this building. 

Now that they know I'm just a significant other the looks stop and I've become a part of this little society. I know all of Joseph's lab mates, and can have a conversation with them apart from being the girl who comes to wait for Joseph. 

My favorite part is being able to show his lab mates what a supportive partner looks like when I bring him lunch, patiently wait for him without distracting his work (sometimes I fail at that, but hey he can't be business all the time), and even engage in a discussion I know nothing about in order to help him solve something about rendering a 3D object (the fact that I even remotely understand what that means enough to say just goes to show how much I'm here listening to him). So here I sit (literally, I typed this while sitting in the lab) waiting for our scheduled Monday Date Night to begin, while Joseph is trying to accomplish some computer thing I barely understand, and it feels like home.

Lynnette

Morning

I am not a morning person. 

Morning for me doesn't begin until 9am, and trying to get me out of bed before then is a struggle. Actually it's even a struggle to get myself out of bed when the alarm goes off at 9, but that's the earliest I can wake up without entirely hating the world. 

Joseph is a morning person.

He can wake up sans alarm at 6:30-7am every morning. He will wake up and get to work and go. Without any assistance from any stimuli at all. It's weird.

I wish I was a morning person, God only knows I wish I could enjoy mornings and wake up like Joseph and be energized and ready for my day, but it is near impossible. 

See, I don't sleep well. I am an extremely light sleeper. Any sound, movement (including my own), or shift of any of my surroundings stirs my body awake. Even worse, it takes forever for me to fall asleep and I feel I never reach that deep restful sleep everyone brags about. This has caused weird sleep patterns and unfortunately I spend most nights awake, and most mornings asleep, a la I am not a morning person.

The only way I could become a morning person is if I resorted to the sleep habits of an elementary student. In bed by 8pm every night.

Ha!

Because that is possible while being a college student.

I want to try and make it to becoming a morning person. My goal is to find ways I feel more rested and prepared when the alarm goes off and I need to start my day. I just hope that happens before we get married or I may end up mad at my husband for always waking me up! 

Heres praying God turns me into a morning person!

Lynnette